Bite Your Tongue

We had a crazy time at our house a couple of weeks ago. Do you remember this post about Avery? Well Parker wasn't about to be outdone by his little sister! And boy did he top her black eye injury with a big whopper!

Parker had his last dentist appointment Wed April 10th to get his 3 other cavities filled on the left side. If you remember, he previously had the right side done. I was going to be going out of town for my cousin's wedding the next day and I had already re-scheduled the appointment a couple of times and early morning appointments book months in advance so I had to keep this appointment. Thankfully, my mom was already in town b/c we were flying to NC together the next day. I figured I'd stay with Parker and my mom until they took him to the back. So we hung out in the small room while we waited for the anesthesia to kick in. About 45 minutes later, the called Parker to the back, I said goodbye, and dropped Avery off at daycare. Kevin picked my mom and Parker up about 45 min later. Everything had gone well according to the nurse who called me after the procedure was finished.

My mom called me around 11:30 asking if we had cotton balls. When I asked why, she said for Parker to bite down on. I didn't think much of it since he had a hard time keeping the gauze in his mouth the last time and I figured the gauze probably fell on the floor. She also mentioned that Parker was acting a bit crazy and running around. I told her to try and keep him still and to put a movie on. Then I get a somewhat frantic call from Kevin around 12:30 saying that Parker had basically torn his tongue apart. I heard hysterical crying in the background. I frantically gathered my stuff, drove home, called and left a couple messages for the dentist to call back. When I got home, I saw Parker's practically mutilated tongue and waited anxiously for the dentist to get back from lunch. I didn't wait for them to call back...at exactly 1:30, I called the office. After explaining what happened, they agreed to see us right away. Dr. W said there wasn't much to be done and to continue giving him Motrin for pain and they would prescribe antibiotics to ward off any possible infection. He also advised that his tongue would swell and look a lot worse than it actually was. I was a little relieved when we left the office, but felt so horrible for Parker.

He was pretty clingy and didn't want to let me out of his sight. I decided to take him to McDonald's to get a frozen yogurt to help with his tongue and since the only thing he had eaten/drank since dinner the night before was the drinkable yogurt I told my mom to give him. He gobbled up his ice cream and said he was still hungry. I'm a selfish Mommy and decided to get myself some fries, which I hid behind my purse, but of course Parker saw them and wanted some. I was deathly afraid to give him any...or rather afraid of his reaction when the salty fries hit his tongue so convinced him that the fries would hurt his tongue. Thankfully he accepted my reason and I ended up throwing away half my fries. I deserved to starve after eating them in front of my starving child! I convinced him to not eat when we got home and finally got him to nap.

Parker ended up running a fever after his nap...just 101 degrees, which according to the paperwork the dentist sent home with my mom, this was normal. If it didn't respond to fever reducing meds or went above 101 then we were to call the dentist. Thankfully his fever went down
He went back to school the next day (I figured the fevers weren't due to an illness and the dentist said it was normal after having aprocedure). My mom and I left for NC and Kevin was left to fend for himself. Umm...yeah if I had known how this would have all gone down I would have cancelled my flight!!! Parker was miserable the whole weekend and threw tantrums left and right. Poor Kevin had to do everything by himself.

It took Parker's tongue about a week to heal. During that time he barely ate. I'm already a bit very OCD about making sure the kids eat enough healthy foods so this was a really tough time for me. Kevin made Parker tons of smoothies (made w/ strawberries, bananas, kale, quinoa, protein powder, yogurt, and milk), which he thinks of as special treats and LOVES them. But after having it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a couple of days he was over them. Kevin switched to chocolate milk just to get some calories in him. Weird thing was on Thursday Kevin got a call to pick Parker up from preschool b/c he has a 101.5 temp. Parker asked for chips...umm salt + HUGE sores on tongue = not a good idea. Kevin delayed this but getting him to take a nap, but the first thing out of his mouth when he woke up was chips. Kevin said he ate a huge helping of sour cream and onion chips without any complaints. Yet on Sunday he couldn't even eat cake at his cousin's bday party! Hmm...

Anyway, when I got home from my trip on Sunday we switched him to PediaSure to make sure he gets calories. At $10 per 6 small bottles, they weren't cheap, but that was pretty much all he was "eating". I also mixed his nasty tasting antibiotics in with the PediaSure to help mask the taste. It had been a fight to get Parker to take his meds every morning and night, but this way Parker just thought yucky medicine was all gone. Sneaky, sneaky! It was a tough week, but we all made it alive...barely!

WARNING!!! Graphic pics below...you've been warned...they are quite gross looking pics of Parker's tongue! If you look and end up throwing up don't blame me...you've been warned!!!

Parker's tongue the day it happened...see the chocolate milk mustache?

This was on Friday...Dr. W warned us that lots of white stuff would be on his tongue and that it would look a lot worse than it actually was, but I was not prepared to get this text from Kevin!

On Saturday...looked much better

On Sunday...looked a whole lot better.

It's been 2 weeks and Parker's tongue is healed for the most part. There are still a couple of small spots that have tiny sores, but he hasn't complained about them and he is eating normal.

Black Eye at 23 months old

What kind of a title is that you ask? Before you question our parenting skills...it isn't our fault. Really it wasn't! I swear! It all started as I was on my way home from work last Monday and Kevin sent me a text saying "Avery gave herself a black eye". Avery often trips...as evident in this post. But when I got home I got the real story: Kevin had given both kids a bath and was cleaning up their rooms while the kids watched TV in the living room. Last he saw Avery was sitting in her pink chair. Then he heard a LOUD bang and Avery started to cry. He ran to the living room and saw Parker sitting on the arm of Avery's chair and Avery is huddled over by the coffee table. Kevin asked Parker what happened to Sissy and he said that he pushed her and she hit her head on the table. However, when Kevin sent Parker to timeout, he decided to change his story and say he didn't push Avery after all and Kevin couldn't get him to admit fault again. Since he didn't actually see it happen he didn't push Parker into going to timeout.

So I got home and this is what I found:

see how puffy her right eyebrow/lid is

By the next morning this is what it looked like and I thought her eye would be fine:

puffy eye...I was nervous to talk to her nanny about it. I didn't want her to think we punched Avery or something and call DCF! But Ms. Debbie was great and pointed out Avery's friend "A" had a matching bump and cut on her forehead.

 Two days later on Wednesday am, her eyelid had a slight blue-ish tint to it and she still had a bump on her eyebrow/temple 

Still, I thought she'd be fine. I figured it would have turned blue, purple, green, black by now!

WRONG!!!!!
My mom and I left on a trip to NC on Thursday am. This is what it looked like when we came home on Sunday:

my mom was so taken aback that she practically pounced on Kevin and kept asking what happened. She didn't realize it was the same injury that happened the week before and we had already told her about when she came down on Tuesday. I cannot believe how bruised it got! She must have hit that coffee table pretty hard! Poor baby girl! We went to my nephew's bday party after the airport and a couple of people thought it was eyeshadow! Umm, no...that would be her first shiner at the tender age of 23 months! Parker has never even had a black eye (knock on wood!!!) and the kid is clumsier than Avery! She likes showing it off too like it's a badge of honor...she closes her eyes and says "boo boo".  She can be so girly sometimes and such a tomboy other times. Sigh!

I know I'm not the first parent to have a kid with a black eye, but I think I freaked out a little bit when I saw how bruised it actually got. I don't think I've ever seen a black eye up close before! It ain't pretty! What's the worst injury your kid has ever had? Was it as traumatizing for you as it was for them? Avery was fine after the first initial bump, but meeeh, I can't look at her eye without wanting to cry!

Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus

You've heard of that saying, right? What about men and women are just wired differently??? It's crossed my mind sure, but last night Kevin's response to my question just made me wonder. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: "How much of his lunch did Parker eat?"

Kevin: "I don't know. I don't really look at it."

Crickets. Crickets. Crickets.

I mean how do you not look at what is left over when you clean out his lunchbox? First: you know how wacky crazy I am and NEED to know how much of it was left. Second: Aren't you concerned about his health and whether he's eating or not? In Kevin's defense I pack Parker's food so he doesn't even have an idea of how much Parker has eaten. I don't expect him to count how many nuts Parker didn't eat, if Parker had 3.5 tangerine sections left, or if Parker took approximately 2.25 bites of his sandwich. I just want a general idea.

Here's another conversation that also happened last night while Kevin and I were discussing how hungry both kids seem to be every night despite eating a lot for dinner and tons of fruit before dinner to tide them over:

Me: "You have to give them some protein and not just a bunch of carbs so they'll feel full longer."

Kevin: "And what kind of protein should I give them?"

Me (trying to remember what we have in the fridge): "Cheese?"

Kevin: "Your son doesn't like cheese."

Me: "Well you could have given him some hardboiled eggs, but you ate them all!"

Kevin (all defensive): "I made them for me!"

Me: "Really? You made them for yourself...just yourself?"

We dropped the conversation and continued with our date night in, but it really got me thinking. I remember a conversation I had with my mom when I was pregnant with Parker and we were eating dinner at a restaurant and my mom gave me her last bite of food, I said something along the lines of: I don't think I could ever give my kid my last bite of food or let my kid order for me (like my mom sometimes does when I can't decide between 2 different entrees...I know call me spoiled, but at least my mom and I have similar tastes in food). Truth be told Kevin is trying to eat healthy and the eggs are a good snack...they just happened to be our last 6 eggs and I forgot to buy more at the store. Then there's also times when the kids flock to him as he is trying to eat and wanting a bite of this or a bite of that. Kevin shares his food with them, but he ends up grumbling after a while or if they take too many chips. I (and probably other women) gladly give up their food...ok so I get a little stingy with my fries, but I still share them. I just may eat them a little faster. I often give them my last bite and Avery often eats a good portion of my meals. I think a mom's instinct is to make sure her babies are well fed and taken care of. Where as a dad's instinct might be to feed himself first so that he can remain strong and defend his family. Ok so I know this isn't the Stone Ages, but that's what popped in my head. How else would you explain it?

Then there's the scenario of dealing with a crying baby in the middle of the night. There have been plenty of times where I've gotten up numerous times with Parker already b/c he likes to get re-tucked back in after he wakes up from peeing and I'd like a turn in getting some sleep too. Here's how it usually goes down when we hear Avery crying through the monitor:

Me: "Kev, Avery's crying. Go take care of her."

Kevin (rolling away from the monitor and me and starts snoring immediately): "eiae nf jdaifwnvmpai."

So I get out of bed and really have to stop myself from smacking my sweet sleeping/snoring husband, stomp across our room and into Avery's room, to cuddle her for a sweet second and to lay her back down. It's not a long process, but I'd just like to be able to get some sleep too. When I talk to Kevin about it the next morning he laughs and swears he didn't hear her. I DON'T BELIEVE IT FOR ONE SECOND! Kevin was so great when both kids were newborns and needed feedings/changing in the middle of the night. He somehow woke up to help me almost every single time, but now he apparently can't hear a screaming child.

Oh oh oh...this one is good and tops it all off...last Saturday we had this conversation:
Kevin: "I'm going to go look at tires and wheels (rims)."

Me: "You can get tires, but we don't have extra funds for rims."

Kevin (20 min later): "I'm going to Target to get some new undershirts and stuff."

So he leaves with Parker and comes back about 1 hour later and he tells me all the things he got with Parker. About 5 minutes before I'm about to walk out the door, I get this bombshell dropped on me:

Kevin: "I ordered new tires...and rims."

Me (whirling around and eyes blazing): "WHAT?!?"

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!!! He has never made such a large purchase without talking to me about it before...especially on something I've said no on b/c we don't have extra funds for it. I left the house before I could find a toy to chuck at him or before I started crying b/c I was so mad...I hate this about myself by the way: I cry when I'm really mad. I plotted ways to get back at him...do I buy a new Coach purse? Maybe get a new pair of shoes? Or have a nice relaxing day at the spa? Or maybe I'll start packing him pb&j sandwiches every day for lunch for the next couple months. Or maybe I'll just give him the silent treatment. Well silent treatment won b/c we really don't have the funds for the rims or for expensive purses or spas. I got back a few hours later and was pretty much ignoring him (really mature, I know!)...til he dropped another bombshell on me:

Kevin: "You know I was just joking right? I didn't really buy rims. I haven't even bought tires yet."

I didn't know whether to kill him, to scream, to cry, or to hug him. I know he was testing me to see what my reaction would be. If I didn't act too crazy then he would have ordered them, but since I went slightly ballistic it was a no go. I mean who does that?!? Who plays such a crazy mean "joke" on their wife? I guess obviously a man who wants rims whose wife could care less about cars and fixing them up and would rather spend their money elsewhere!

Don't get me wrong. I love my hubby. He's fantastic. He's a wonderful husband and dad. But I think we are just wired a little differently. Plus I'm pretty sure I do things that drives him insane. I'm OCD about certain things that he's not as concerned about. I could careless about cars whereas he wakes up at the crack of dawn once a month to go to breakfast car show thingie that starts at the ungodly hour of 6:30...as in a.m....and on a Saturday!!!

Does your hubby/significant other do anything that drives you nuts? Make me feel better and comment below and tell me!!!

One Sick Momma

I think I'm coming down with something...I have a low fever, sore throat, nausea, killer headache, and feel like I have no energy. Plus I tweaked my back last night and made it worse earlier today. When you're a Momma none of that stuff matters. You're kids have needs and they want them met RIGHT NOW! They don't care that you feel like poop and Daddy went out for a boy's night out so you are left by yourself and you're seeing double and shivering like crazy even though it's not cold in the house and you've got 2 layers on. Kids are pretty demanding creatures and my kiddos are no exception.

She is one hot mess...and very demanding...

Here's how my night has gone so far...I understand it's not even 10, but Momma ain't feeling good:

7:15 Bath for both kids (Kevin did this by himself)
7:25 Get kids dressed in pajamas (I helped)

This is all me now:
7:32 Get kids tucked into bed
7:47 I climb into bed wearing longs sleeves, sweatshirt, flannel pj bottoms, and using 2 blankets
8:23 Avery wakes up screaming
8:30 I go into Avery's room, wipe her tears, and cuddle her on her recliner
8:35 I climb back into bed
8:36 Parker walks out of his room and into mine to tell me he has to poop
8:37 Parker is done and needs his bum wiped; he tucks himself back into bed b/c I have no energy
8:38 I climb back into bed
8:57 Avery wakes up screaming
9:03 I go into Avery's room, wipe her tears, and cuddle her on her recliner
9:08 I take some meds, make myself a cup of ginger tea with honey...and grab a couple (ok 4) Samoas
9:22 I spill hot tea all over myself b/c Avery wakes up screaming and scared the beejeesus out of me
9:25 I go into Avery's room, give her some Motrin, wipe her tears, and cuddle her on her recliner
9:45 Mommy is writing on her blog and hoping and praying that all goes well the rest of the night...

Ok, g'nite all! Please pray the kids sleep well so that I can get some sleep too!

"I Just Love You So Much"

Those were the words that greeted me when I got home from work yesterday. Parker is generally a sweet and cuddly boy, but I think these words stem from the rough morning we had. It started with Avery waking up crying and refusing my attempts to comfort her and crying/shrieking for 10 minutes. Parker was grumpy and was a bit difficult to dress, but his real meltdown happened when I gave him the 2 little cups of medicine to take. He has developed a sudden aversion to taking medicine. Granted one of them tastes "yucky" according to him. He prefers the other one. Too bad for him, he has to take both and twice a day!

Anyway, on Wednesdays I like to drop Avery off first even though I have to double back so I can walk Parker into his pre-school (it's the only day he doesn't have speech class). After I talked to Parker's teacher, I turned to Parker to say goodbye and ask him to give me a kiss and I was flabbergasted when his bottom lip started to quiver and he ran to me, climbed into my lap and grabbed onto my neck. He was full out crying! He has NEVER done this before...except maybe that 1 week he and Avery stayed at that awful home day care after I went back to work after my maternity leave. So I was def surprised when he started crying. He kept telling me "I want to go home. I just love you so much." I know I made it worse, but I stayed about 5 minutes hugging him and trying to calm him down. I left him with his teacher who was trying to calm him down and distract him, but I heard him crying for me as I walked down the long hallway and out the door. My heart just keeps breaking!!!

So it was really wonderful to hear his words when he came home. He said it with a smile too. Then he proceeded to tell me: "I cry at school b/c I just love you so much. I nap and cry b/c I just love you so much. I miss you!". He apparently also cried when he woke up from his nap. But he also told me he was happy and played at school, saw his cousin at chapel, and proudly showed off the Dr. Seuss mask that he made. He cuddled really close to me as we read "Goodnight Moon" and we snuggled for a long time as I made up stories about black trains and Mack (from the Cars movies). Oh, my sweet boy!

All Doggies Go To Heaven

We found out yesterday that our first baby, Bailey, was hit by car and died. My heart is completely broken.

R.I.P. Bailey

12/16/04 - 3/1/13

preschool fights

...and my heart keeps breaking. I got home from work the other night and found Kevin and the kids in Parker's room playing. I got my hugs and kisses (Avery ignored me until I asked her to give me a hug and kiss, which she did) and played for a bit. Then Kevin prompted Parker to tell me what happened at school. So I geared myself up: either Parker did something he wasn't supposed to or he did something cool/fun. What I learned next broke my heart. Here's how the conversation went:

Kevin: "Tell Mommy why your teacher took your glasses off." 

Parker: "Blue shorts punch my nose. I cry. He go timeout."

Me: "What?!?"

Kevin: "Apparently a kid wearing blue shorts punched him in the nose, he cried, the teacher took his glasses off (assuming to take care of Parker), and sent the other kid to timeout."

Now I know to take things that Parker says with a grain of salt. His speech isn't all that great and he has learned how to lie fib a little, but he usually trips himself up by laughing or telling the truth 5 seconds later. And his fibs are usually pretty transparent and aren't complex. For example if I ask him why his sister is crying (she's got a specific cry that's reserved for Bubba  aggrieving her in some sort of way) and his reply is: "I no hit Sissy." or "Sissy hit me!"...well duh of course he hit her! Or if I ask him if he has put his toys away and he hasn't, he'll say "yes" while smiling. This time Parker kept saying the same thing over and over again. I also asked him a few additional questions to try and get a better understanding of what happened, but he wasn't able to clarify much.

Me: "Why did 'blue shorts' punch your nose?"

Parker: "Umm, 'blue shorts' punch my nose and go timeout."

Me: "Did you hit 'blue shorts'?"

Parker: "Yes I hit."

Me: "Did you hit 'blue shorts' first?"

Parker: "I hit blue shorts."

Me: "Did you go to timeout?"

Parker: "No. Blue shorts go timeout."

Kevin said that he really didn't get a chance to talk to the teacher when he picked Parker up b/c Parker ran straight to him. Kevin's a little different than me...I LOVE information. I NEED information. Especially when I'm not with the kids. It's not even just because they are in daycare. I ask Kevin, my mom, whoever is watching the kids what they ate, how much they ate, how long did they nap for, how were they overall...lots of questions. Call me crazy, but I've been that way since Parker was a newborn. I just like to know...I suppose it's my way trying to be in control when I'm not with the kids. I feel like Kevin can take the info or leave it. It drives me nuts when I ask him the details and he tells me he forgot. Bless him, he knows how OCD I get so he has gotten so much better about giving me details.

I don't know why I was so surprised and taken aback by this. Parker wears glasses and I know how mean kids can be so I've already thought about Parker getting teased. My imagination ran wild and I started to think about whether this little boy was bullying Parker b/c of his glasses. Truthfully I wasn't prepared for dealing with bullying or teasing. I didn't think it would happen this early on. And I know hitting goes on at pre-school. You've got a bunch of 3 year olds who can't always verbalize their needs and wants and frustration runs high and kids can lash out to vent some of their feelings. But when I heard the word "punch", it just triggered something deeper, it's bigger than just a little whack on the arm. That and he was punched in his face...on his nose...as if this little boy really knew how to punch.

After a few minutes of talking to Parker, I dropped the topic, but I was mad, confused, and hurting inside for my little boy. My question was, why didn't the teacher, even if she was busy, say: "Can you wait a sec, I need to discuss something with you." Or even send a note home to tell me that Parker was involved in an altercation. I don't need to know what "blue shorts" name is. I understand that they need to protect the other child's privacy. But I also have a right to know that my kid was punched in the face and was hurt badly enough that he cried (he's not a crier like that either) and the teacher had to take his glasses off to assess the damage (there's none that I could see that night, but he could have been gushing blood for all I know...ok so Parker probably would have told me that). No, I don't need to know each and every time Parker gets hit or pushed b/c that's part of going to preschool and being around lots of other kids that are the same age. But this seemed a little more serious and I was a little ticked off...not because it happened. Ok so a little bit because of that, but mostly because I was not informed by the school. 

Well I talked to the preschool director, which I should mention was absolutely fantastic in helping me out with an issue prior to Parker starting preschool and she was wonderful while discussing the issue. I just wanted to know exactly what happened and what their normal procedure is when something like this happens. She advised she wasn't aware anything had happened, but would talk to his teachers. Here's what she was able to tell me (again she couldn't be specific, which I was ok with, for privacy reasons): Parker pushed a little boy whose first reaction is to hit or punch. The teacher saw all this happen and took Parker aside to check him out and the other little boy was talked to and removed from the situation. Parker didn't cry and his glasses weren't taken off (Not sure I believe this part b/c I don't think Parker would just make it up...his fibbing level is just not there and he said it so matter of fact and on more than one occasion). A notice of incident was written and sent home with the little boy. I told Ms. Allen that I was worried that Parker provoked the other kid or instigated the whole thing. She said that according to the teacher, Parker didn't push in a mean way and it happened while playing and it wasn't hard. Apparently "blue shorts" has a history of hitting and punching and it is something the school and his parents are working on. Ms. Allen apologized that a letter wasn't sent home with Parker and it wasn't discussed at pickup and that she talked to the teacher about the importance of filling out the forms to send home for both parents. I made it clear I don't expect them to tell me about every little hit or shove, but on more serious things then I def need to know, which she understood and agreed with. 

I talked to a friend who told me that when she picked her son up from preschool the other day, she found him in timeout with 6 other boys for ganging up on another child...well as much ganging up an almost 4 year old can do. The teacher said: "Don't worry, he was a follower and not the leader." Hmm...so my friend should have been glad that her son didn't lead the other kids into bullying and instead followed others...the end result is the same...another kid was ganged up on. Ugh! She talked to her son about it and I think that's the important part. Whenever Parker's speech therapist tells me about Parker hitting, acting aggressive, upsetting a friend for repeatedly calling him a chipmunk (you laugh, but this really happened) I made sure to talk to him during the drive home from school. He was also prompted to tell Daddy when he got home and at night time while we are snuggling we talk about what happened that day and what he could have done/said to prevent him from hurting/upsetting his friends or to prevent him from going to time out. I give him gentle reminders again as we drive to school and right before he gets out of the car he recites (without any prompting from me): "I no hit. I no say chipmunk in my school." Repetition is key with Parker and lots of reminders so this definitely helps him.

So my first line of defense is to talk to Parker, but then what??? If he gets hit, punched, or shoved what should he do? I'm not trying to throw anyone under the bus, but my husband was told by his fiery Italian momma that if someone hit him first then she was ok with him hitting back as long as he didn't get caught. Sounds crazy? Yeah I thought so too and laughed when my husband first told me this ages ago. Don't think badly of my mother in law. She raised 4 wonderful kids, but she wasn't about to let her kids get beat up on and she would be the first one to beat them with a spatula if they ever started a fight. lol Anyway, this got me thinking and my momma bear instinct tells me to teach Parker how to punch. Yeah yeah, he's 3.5 (almost), but next time "blue shorts" punches Parker and Parker hits back then maybe "blue shorts" will think twice about hitting Parker next time (ok I know Parker started this incident with pushing, but I'm just saying if it was unprovoked next time!). 

So what is it: teach your kid that fighting/hitting is not a solution and have him get beat up? Teach him to tell the teacher so that he gets branded as a tattle tell? Do you teach him to fight back and defend himself so that other kids doesn't see him as an easy target? For now, I told Parker to tell the little boy firmly to not hit him, walk away and tell the teacher. If "blue shorts" hits him again then we will have issues and I'll be marching my butt up to the school and then I'll teach Parker how to really punch. What would you do or say to your child? I may be blowing this out of proportion, but it's my momma bear coming out and I just want to protect my little cub. How would you have reacted? 

My Broken Heart

I went back to work full time a couple of weeks ago. This has been a huge change for the whole family and it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I thought I was going to start bawling my eyes out last Sunday night as I laid in bed contemplating if I was doing the right thing by going back to work...I remember feeling the same way when I went back to work after both of my maternity leaves. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss their crazy antics!

Parker has had a few tantrums at night due to being over tired and dealing with the new changes, but overall I think he has transitioned pretty well. He went to a home daycare from the time he was 4 months until he was about Avery's age then I started staying home. He started pre-school two mornings a week last August and he has loved it. Then he started speech therapy 4 mornings a week mid January so he's been away from me, which has prepared him a little. But being gone in the mornings is totally different than being gone all day! I prepared him by telling him I was going back to work all day like Daddy and he was going to be going to school all day. I really built it up about how exciting it would be for him to go to his new school and he was excited to go to his cousin's school. The downside: he has barely been napping at school and he normally naps 2-3 hours a day! Parker does pretty well during pick up, but has had a few tantrums due to just being tired and hungry.

On the other hand, Avery has been having a tougher time. All she has ever known is staying home with Mommy. She's never even had a babysitter that wasn't one of her grandmothers or her aunts! She does fine when I drop her off at the nanny's house, but all hell breaks loose in the car on the way home and while at home. Last Friday she had a harder time during drop off. Her lip quivered and she started to cry when I tried to tell her goodbye and she tried to shut the door to keep me from leaving. But she was fine and eating breakfast when I came back a minute later to give Ms. Debbie something I had forgotten in the car. Ms. Debbie said she's the best kid she's had in a long time as far as adjusting really well to a new environment and that she plays all day and plays well with the other kids, which makes me feel better. She's had a few more times where she cried after I dropped her off or I'd see her lip quiver, but I just say a quick goodbye and give her a hug and kiss and run out the door. Ms. Debbie says she does really well all day and doesn't cry. She's having a tough time with napping though. Her first day at day care she didn't nap at all and just cried/whimpered all through nap time. She's never been a good napper, but I can usually get a 1 hour nap from her. An hour and a half or two if I was lucky. Unfortunately she only naps for about 30-40 min at daycare so she's absolutely exhausted and just not in a great mood when she gets home. When Kevin picks her up she does this whiny cry thing where she's not really crying, but just wants attention from him.

Their reactions when I get home is so different. Parker is very excited to see me. The best part of my day is when I walk into the house and I'm met with a chorus of "MOMMY!!", "I miss you so much!" and "I love you so much!" and I get a lot of big tight hugs and sweet little kisses. Avery started out greeting me enthusiastically, but towards the end of the first week she started to say "no no no" when I would try to kiss and hug her. She has been so mad at me for the past week and a half and has been breaking my heart! Not only does she tell me "no" when I reach for her, but she calls out for her Daddy and cuddles up to him. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it. I know she's mad b/c she feels like I'm deserting her every morning and leaving her with all day long with a strange lady in a house with a bunch of other kids. It's tough b/c I also don't get much time with her at night when I get home b/c she still goes to bed fairly early...7:30 and we've pushed it back to around 8 pm. I'm sure she thinks I'm ignoring her or something. I do make sure to give her lots of extra hugs and kisses in the mornings before I drop her off and I try to make our mornings as positive as possible. Avery and I have always had a "thing". But she's also a Daddy's girl...she has been from the moment she was born. Ok, even before then! I know they have a special bond, but up until recently I thought I was her "favorite". GASP!!! But there I said it! It just might be b/c I feel entitled to being the favorite parent. I mean I was the one who carried her for 37.6 weeks. I was the one who went through morning sickness until I was almost 20 weeks. I was the one who gained 28 lbs and got crazy stretch marks on my belly. I was the one who dealt with sciatic pain. I was the one who got kicked in the bladder and had to pee 100 times at night (a big deal since I rarely get up to pee in the middle of the night). I was the one who constantly felt like there was a foot stuck in my rib and couldn't breathe. I was the one who endured contractions that was like no pain I had ever felt (Parker's labor was practically pain free even before the epidural). I was the one whose epidural barely worked and felt her coming out and being stitched back up (TMI??? Sorry!). I was the one who endured months of trying to breastfeed and pump. I was and still am the one who mostly wakes up in the middle of the night to be there for her if she needs something (rare, but still). I'm the one she runs to when she's hurting or needs a snuggle. So yes my heart hurts when I come home and she refuses to acknowledge me or to give me a kiss hello.

But it is completely heartbreaking at night when I try and cuddle her and she just cries out for her Daddy and tells me no. I left them alone a few times b/c I figured she needed time with him and to feel comforted without me intruding. But, after over a week of this craziness, I just couldn't take it anymore! My solution: I put one arm around Kevin and the other around Avery, lay my head on Kevin's chest right next to Avery's little body and we stand there in the dark while I sing "Twinkle Twinkle". So yes I've pushed my way back into her night time routine! She has let me put her to bed the last couple of nights, but she doesn't want to snuggle at all. She just wants me to lay her down in her crib right away. Being the pushy mom I am, I don't just leave her alone. I lean over her crib, rub her chest, run my fingers down her face, sing to her and talk to her. I need some Mommy and Avery time! Sigh!

Oh, and Parker...while he is adjusting fairly well he has started to ask me every night and every morning if I'm going to work. After I reply yes his next question is: "You coming back home?". His little lip quivers sometimes when he asks this as if he really thinks I'm not coming home! Ugh! Somebody help me pick up the pieces of my broken heart!

Has anyone else dealt with being ignored by their child or the child suddenly favoring the other parent? How did you deal with it?

Mommy and Son Dates

Parker is almost 3.5 and he is definitely at that age where it can actually be fun to take him out by myself. He thinks he's pretty special when he gets to go somewhere without his sister! This past weekend was my 5th wedding anniversary (in case you missed all 500 of my posts about it!) and Kevin and I were very fortunate to have Lola come down and watch the kids. We were able to go out for dessert and drinks (which turned into appetizer, dessert, and drinks) on Friday night, a wine tour and tasting on Saturday afternoon, and sushi/dinner on Saturday night. Each time, as we were getting ready, Parker would ask: "Where you going?" and when we'd reply we are going on a date, he'd ask: "I go on date with you?". Oh melt my heart, sweet boy! Kevin and Parker had a boys day out on Sunday after being "ignored" all weekend and Kevin thanked me for "letting" him do something with just them two and said he had so much fun with him. Anyway it got me thinking about what I can do with Parker by ourselves...cheap Mommy and Son date ideas. A lot of these are things we can do at home so it doesn't cost anything...it's just about him getting my undivided attention.

this little (b/c he will always be little to me) boy made me a mommy and will always hold a special place in my heart

Here's a list of things we've done before and things I'd like to do with him in the future:

1. Hot Cocoa and Movie Night: Parker and I have done this a few times this "winter". He fell in love with hot cocoa when he had it for the first time at Sea World this past December. He doesn't have it often so he thinks it's pretty special when I bust out a cheap packet of hot cocoa and pile it up with mini marshmallows. We settle down on the couch floor (in case he spills) and sip (well he chugs his cooled cocoa down) as we watch a movie of his choice before bed time.

this was from Date Night

2. The Garden Store aka Home Depot: last summer we I planted an herb, cucumber and zucchini garden. Parker had so much fun going with me to pick out seed packets and gardening materials...hence why he started calling it the garden store. I'm sure Kevin would rather him call it "the man store" or something. lol I plan on planting another garden this year and taking Parker with me to pick our packets again. Now that he's older I'm hoping he will help more with the garden. If not, I'm sure he will get excited once he starts to see the flowers and vegetables growing like he did last year.

our cucumbers last year...sadly our zucchini plant took a beating in a storm and never recovered

3. Park and Playground: Parker loves going to the park and playground. He runs around like crazy and burns off a lot of energy. Score! He loves it when we swing together or when I push him "really high" (he thinks it's high...my scared-y pants Mommy heart can't handle that so it's not so high unless I put him in the baby swing...I know, I know!). Once a month, one of the nearby parks runs a mini train that you can ride and he loves riding this! We don't do it every month so he feels special when he goes on and it feeds his train obsession.

LOVE those dimples! They make my heart melt!

he thinks almost falling off this thing is the most hilarious thing ever. My mama heart can't handle it!

riding the train...free (well they ask that you make a donation, which we do, but what's a few dollars?!?)

4. Busch Gardens: We have season passes and we use it ALL the time so even though it's somewhat expensive up front, we've def gotten our money's worth out of our passes. But I've never taken him by himself. This is something I would love to do this year though. They have a huge tree house with a rope course and maze. He could spend hours climbing through that. He is typically on a time limit b/c Avery can't really go through it and she gets bored so I think if he went with just me then we could spend all day there if he wanted! They also have a big splash area that opens in the spring - I usually walk through it with him...helps keep me cool in the summer heat!

going up the tree house

going across the rope bridge

riding the train is a must at Busch Gardens!

5. local Pet Store: Parker loves to look at the puppies, kittens, and hamsters (which makes my skin crawl). I'm too scared to let him take the puppies out and play with them b/c he might ask to bring one home and the answer would have to be no. We had Bailey and he and Avery were just not nice to her and poor thing deserves a better life so she's now living with my cousin. For now he's content to look.

no pet store pics, but here's a rare moment when Parker and Bailey got along. Bailey decided to give Parker a kiss, which Parker found hilarious!

6. Airport picnic: We have done this as a family date, but I think Parker would love to do it and get some one on one attention. We park at the short term parking garage and go all the way to the top deck, which doesn't have a roof and look at the planes that are landing and taking off. He also loves watching the trams come and go (he calls them trains). The last time we went, we packed a picnic dinner (homemade sandwiches, chips, and applesauce pouches) and sat on a blanket on the back of Kevin's truck. So we would have to "borrow" Kevin's truck...if he lets me drive the HUGE monster. Otherwise I'd just pop the back hatch of my SUV and relax there.

laying down on Daddy's truck bed and watching the planes fly by

7. Cookies and Firetrucks: We've never done this, but I would LOVE to do it. I've been wanting to do this forever! Maybe buy some Publix cookies (who doesn't love them and b/c people get weird nowadays with homemade stuff) and bribe thank them for being such heroes and maybe score a  look at one of the firetrucks and maybe a tour! Parker would think he was in HEAVEN!!! Anyone know of any firemen in the area that can hook me up with a tour? lol

8. McDonald's Ice Cream Cone: Parker rarely gets ice cream so he would absolutely LOVE this and their kiddie cone is on the $1 menu. Cheap and it would make his day!

9. Bookstore Fun: Parker loves to read and some one on one time reading all those books would be fun for both of us. Usually when we read at home, Avery tries to push him off my lap so she can sit on my lap all by herself so he would really like having my lap all to himself, I think. lol Afterwards we could order coffee/hot cocoa and share a big cookie at the coffee shop in the bookstore.

I found this like this one day...each had their own books and sitting in our time out spot. lol

10. Mall Playground and Disney Store: Parker loves to go to the mall playground. He gets to interact with other kids and run around like crazy. We usually go to the Disney Store afterwards if he doesn't throw a tantrum when it's time to leave the playground. Parker just loves to look at all the toys and watch the movies that they play. He does ask for toys, but we rarely buy him anything. 95% of the time he is fine with us not buying him anything. I just prepare him during the walk to the store that we are not buying anything and that he can't ask for toys. He of course asks for toys, but I remind him we're not there to buy anything. His reply is usually: "Oh, yeah!" or "Oh, man!". When it's time to leave, I give him warnings: 2 minutes til it's time to leave (I really give him about 4 min). His 1 minute warning is closer to when it's time to leave. This works 98% of the time and he leaves with no tantrum. And did you know that if you get to the Disney Store before they open, they look for little kids to open up the store with a special key and help from Tinker Bell???

 Parker and Emma got chosen to open up the Disney Store!

We LOVE this mall b/c it has a huge playground...and yes that's the Disney Store right next to it. Smart store renting out space next to the playground!

11. Beach and Sand Castles: Kevin and I are not huge beach people (weird b/c we spent a lot of time at the beach in high school!). We just DON'T like the sand! Kids and sand = A LOT OF MESS! But Parker LOVES the beach...he could spend hours building sand castles! Or rather adding to or tearing apart sand castles that have been left behind by others. Parker would be on cloud nine if I actually got down and got dirty and built a sand castle of our own!

yes that would be my child at the beach...in his underwear. This was an impromptu trip to the beach after lunch at a beachside restaurant. We got a few weird looks...lol

12. Go NOLES: Parker always asks to go to Mommy's school in Tallahassee. I tell him one day we will go and watch a football game. I think it would be so much fun to take him to a game and watch my beloved Noles with my little buddy! I think he would love the crazy atmosphere, eat a bunch of hot dogs and boiled peanuts! One day soon, little buddy we will go! Ok, so call me crazy, but I just looked at his future birthdays and his birthday falls on a Saturday...in 2016. He will be 7 years old. Perfect age to go, I think and sit through 3 hours of football! Now, let's just hope that it is a home game! lol

13. Dinner Date: We've never done this aside from getting Chick Fil A, but I would love for both of us to get all dressed up and go somewhere nice for dinner. He actually said on Saturday night that he wanted to eat sushi b/c I told him Daddy and I were going on a sushi date. I doubt he would eat sushi, but I'd love for him to try a California roll!

14. Donuts and Jammies: I see people doing this all the time at Dunkin Donuts! I want to take Parker in our jammies (ok, I'd probably put a bra on and wear yoga pants lol), but I think it would be so fun to go and get donuts for breakfast and just sit there and talk.

15. Desserts Galore: Parker loves to help me out in the kitchen. When I'm in the kitchen he is always asking: "I help you, please?". He does everything from shaking the parsley shaker over a pan, stirring, or pouring ingredients from the measuring cup into the bowl/pot. Making desserts together is a tried and true way to make sure he eats his dinner that night! lol

Parker loved these homemade donuts and he has been asking for me to make some more. He can't fry them b/c the oil may splatter him, but he would love making shapes using cookie cutters, rolling them into logs or twisting the ropes together. 

16. Backpacking Through the "Woods": Ok, we don't really have "woods" near us. But anytime we drive through my sister in law's neighborhood, he sees this one house that has a bunch of trees in the backyard and a pergola that is covered in vines, he asks to walk through the woods. I think it would be so much fun to take him on a "hike" at a park near our house that has trails and then have a picnic lunch. I think he would get a kick out of having his own backpack to carry with his sandwich, fruit, chips, and water. I would of course carry the blanket and other necessities in my backpack!

17. Chuck E Cheese: Parker has only been once (well twice if you count when he was 10 months old for his cousin's bday) for his bday last year. He had so much fun! Funny story: we went to a store that is in the same shopping plaza as Chuck E Cheese, which was blocked from our view by some trees. Parker out of the blue cries out: "Oooh, oooh! Where Chuck E Cheese? I no see it!". Kevin and I looked at each other and were like, it's crazy that he remembers stuff like that. We went there during the day and we were at the store at night so it was pretty dark. Kids have a way of remembering things...especially if they had a blast. This is still a pretty cheap date for us b/c Parker doesn't really ride or play games - he just likes to run around, press buttons, sit on the riding toys for a bit and then get off. I think he gets freaked out when the riding toys start moving b/c every time we put coins in for him to ride he asks to get off within 5-7 seconds! Their pizza isn't expensive either and I usually bring an applesauce pouch and just get him a water to drink. Or there's this option: GattiTown. Parker LOVED this place!

if he looks a little bit scared, it's b/c he was. He was fine, walked up to him, but didn't want to get too close or to be touched by this "weird creature!". lol

18. Trains and Cars: Parker is a boys boy. He LOVES all things cars and trains! He is always asking us to come play in his room. He would be in absolute heaven if we just holed ourselves up in his room for 1 solid hour of just playing with no interruptions from his little sister who likes to take his train tracks apart or grab his cars, which he arranged in a perfect line.

we bought Parker this rug from Ikea that has roads, parkings spaces, and buildings. He loves to spread it out and move his cars all around it.

Bailey used to love playing trains with us too! 

19. Splish Splash, Fun in the Water: We have a pool in our backyard and Parker loves to go swimming, but if you don't have a pool at your disposable, it's also fun to run through the sprinklers or set up a water table to try and cool off in this crazy Florida heat!

sprinkler fun - great way to cool off and water the lawn at the same time!

this water table was fairly inexpensive, but if you don't have one, large plastic bins or even bowls and pots would work! I grabbed some shovels, small watering can, and cups/pails and Parker had a blast transferring the water back and forth. 

20. Running Errands: Sounds boring, but Parker loves to go run errands...again b/c he gets one on one time. His favorite places to go are Costco and Target. He loves Costco b/c he likes trying all of the sample food! We walk around slowly and detour to the toy section and I let him look around (I prep him before hand that we are not there to buy toys though). Once in a while I let him pick out a book to buy. When the Christmas decorations were out, we would literally spend 10-15 minutes just slowly walking down the aisle. I'm sure we annoyed some of the people who were there in a rush...sorry folks, I'm busy making memories with my little one!

I took Parker to Michael's with me and I let him pick out a $1 craft for us to do together at home. Here he is stacking rolls of duct tape while I picked out some markers. 

What do you like to do with your boys? Any suggestions are welcome! I'd like to try some new date ideas!