Friday, January 4, 2013

epic meltdown

I'm not sure what's going on with Parker lately, but he has been acting crazy...a lot crazier than normal. Last Sunday, we took the kids to a local theme park. My sister in law and her family were actually going too so we we were meeting up with them. Parker wanted to walk across the rope bridges so Kevin went with him while I waited with Avery for my sister in law and her family. Once we were all together, Parker and his cousin "A" went on a ride and afterwards Parker started asking to go to the tree house. I decided to go ahead and take him, we walked across a couple of rope bridges, and he got to climb around the maze - we were there for about 20 min. He started throwing a fit when I told him it was time to go back down and could not calm him down! He continued throwing his tantrum - no matter what Kevin and I tried we could not get him to stop. My sister in law tried to help and pulled Parker aside. She told Parker something along the lines of "he needs to listen" and apparently he replied something like "No, I no listen to you!". I'm flabbergasted! As far as I'm aware he has never been rude to anyone like that before! I pulled him aside, tried to get him to calm down again and told him apologize to his aunt, but he refused so Kevin and I decided that we would leave after being there for only 40 minutes (our shortest trip to the theme park ever - good thing we have passes otherwise it would have been a very expensive 40 minute trip!). 

Parker was about 18 months of my first experiences with tantrums...I had to document it of course, which made him even more mad!

Parker yelled and screamed and cried. He thrashed around in the stroller. Once he realized we meant business and that we were really leaving he was instantly very remorseful and wanted to apologize to his aunt. He kept saying: "I sorry, Mommy, Daddy. I want to say sorry Aunt M. I want to take deep breaths and calm down. You be happy with me! I be good boy! Please! I no want go home!". Once we able to meander our way back to the front gates (amidst all the took all it had in me not to snap at the other parents who were staring at my screaming if your kid has never had a meltdown in public???), I pulled Parker aside, we took our deep breaths, and calmed down. I explained again that because he threw a tantrum, was rude, and refused to apologize when we first asked, we were going home. He started to cry again, but after I gave him a stern "Mommy" look, he stopped and whimpered softly and we walked hand in hand to the car. The thing is, I know part of this tantrum was due to being hungry even though he had a snack when we got the park. We were actually on our way to have lunch when the tantrum began. Still, this had to be one of his biggest tantrums! Thankfully Miss Sassy realized how crazy her brother was being and was being very good.

this happened on 2/2/12...I remember the date b/c it's my wedding anniversary. I remember thinking: "Happy Anniversary to me...epic meltdown that lasted over 1 hour and his room was trashed." Parker learned how to clean up messes he creates during a tantrum that day. 

Then, a day later he had a meltdown over macaroni and cheese. Yep...macaroni and cheese. We didn't have any at home. Normally when I tell him we don't have whatever it is he is asking for and that we have to go to the store later to buy some he is ok with it. Not today. My mom tried to help out since I was changing Avery's diaper and he gave her a little push (TWICE) and told her "I no want you, Lola. I want my Mommy!". Again, FLABBERGASTED!!! Where has my sweet boy gone? He got sent to his room where he ended up having an accident...a big one where his shorts was completely soaked! Can I say that he has not had an accident like this in...I don't even know! It's been so long! I'm generally understanding if he has a little accident - as in he pees a tiny bit on his way to the bathroom, but to have a full out accident b/c he was throwing a tantrum?!? I know this is attention seeking behavior...about 90% of the time he gets sent to time out he tells me he has to pee. I usually let him go pee, but he goes straight back to time out without being reminded after he is done in the bathroom. I was livid about his accident and he knew it. He got changed and went to time out without a fuss. After his 3 minutes was up, we talked calmly and he apologized to everyone, including my mom. Then he ate his non-macaroni and cheese lunch - scarfed it down in fact and asked for more.'s his trademark look least that's what it seems like.

Ok, so I see a pattern....hunger = epic meltdown. But HOLY MOLY! I don't know what's going on. Kevin says he's also acting out at night and has been very difficult to get him to go to bed. Maybe part of the reason is that I'm working quite a bit right now and I'm not home to tuck him into bed. As I've previously said, I'm usually the one who tucks the kids into bed at night. In fact, the other night Kevin said, he walked into Parker's room about about 1 hour after he tucked him in b/c he heard him coughing and Parker was just sitting up in bed, whimpered and asked for me (not in a sleepy way that he sometimes does, but as in I've just been sitting here wide awake this whole time). This totally breaks my heart! When I'm home at night, we do our normal bed time routine: read a couple of books, cuddle and talk while snuggled under his quilt. I make sure that we stick to our "normal" bed time routine.

this was on May 5th - Avery's bday party...totally not his fault he had a slight meltdown. At least not completely. All the kids were leaning towards Avery's smash cake, very excited for her to get all messy, and Kevin decided it would be funny to push Parker's face into the icing...knowing full well that Parker gets slightly OCD about being messy/dirty. 

I hope he outgrows this CRAZY phase soon b/c I'm at loss as to what to do! I've tried talking to him calmly. I've tried to very sternly talk to him. I've tried time out. I've tried sending him to his room. I've tried telling him I'm not very happy (he has a thing about making everyone happy). I've tried threatening no tv/toys/books. I've tried ignoring him. I've tried giving him choices. I've tried giving him warnings (in 2 minutes we are going to take a nap, clean up, etc). I've tried EVERYTHING! Nothing works until I'm really good and mad and about to lose my mind. Then he starts crying and saying sorry and will do whatever it is that I'm asking. But it drives me nuts that I have to try almost every "trick" in the book only to have him respond when my ears are turning red and steam is coming out.

his signature pout and exclamation of "I mad". This was at his bday party this past September...again not really his fault that he had a mini tantrum. One of his friends blew out the candles on his cake...twice. I guess he didn't really throw a tantrum. He just pouted and kept saying "I mad! 'O' blow my candle!" He cheered up soon enough when it was time to eat cake!

I know my kids are not the only ones to have meltdowns. But sometimes it really feels like I'm surrounded by such sweet little kids who listen to their parents the first time around. And please don't get me wrong...every day is not like this, but it seems the big meltdowns and tantrums are happening a lot more often. I would like to have my sweet little boy back...full time!

he is such a cuddle bug! if it weren't for those pictures above you'd probably never know he was crazy! i don't have recent pics of Parker throwing a tantrum...probably b/c I'm embarrassed to have evidence that my 3 year old still has complete meltdowns!

that sweet smile and twin dimples are very deceiving!

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  1. Totally feel ya Mae! Ben is the same way! He doesn't listen when I ask him nicely and, he prefers to listen when I'm so mad from telling him 5 times so now I'm yelling. Can't wait for this phase to go away also. Just know that I'm going through the same thing...I feel your pain and need for wine! :)

  2. We def have some crazy kiddos that are very strong willed! Wine...I wasn't much of a drinker until the past year or I have a glass of wine at least once every 2 weeks. Last night it was margaritas! lol


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